Breaking news: KingKellogg Rushed to Pokémon Center for Abusing Rare Candies

Gaming, Humor , , 0 Comment

squirtle_squad

At 9:46am local time, Takuchat hero KingKellogg was rushed to the Vermilion City Pokémon Center after accidentally consuming too many Rare Candies. Ever since they first hit the market several years ago, the sweet treats have been widely popular thanks to their promises of accelerated training and easy experience gains, but they have likewise been criticized for offering what medical experts are now considering to be “empty levels.”

KingKellogg has since been stabilized and has apologized to his longtime spouse, a Jigglypuff who was simply overjoyed to have her one and only Squirtle still with her. “I never wanted to condemn him,” said a teary-eyed Jigglypuff, “only to make sure he didn’t hurt himself.”

KingKellogg and Jigglypuff are planning a trip to Pewter City to visit Brock, the resident leader of the city’s gym. Brock will be providing nutritional guidance and will assist the couple in proper effort-value training.

This article uses material from the “Squirtle Squad” article on The Pokémon Wiki at Wikia and is licensed under the Creative COmmons Attribution-Share Alike License.

dracosummoner

Make the most of life, no matter where you are in it. Work hard toward noble goals, but concern yourself less with what you can gain for yourself than with what you can do for others, no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. I love sushi. And pizza. And cheesecake. Face me in Pokémon!